On “Giving Us Your Money”
Hail and well met to the good people of Bard City, and a pox upon the house of the vile denizens of our sworn enemy, Bard County.
It is with great honor that I announce our city's latest initiative: the Great Reoccurring Infusion to Franciel's Treasury Act, sponsored by Johnny Alto's Riverboat Casino and Grille™. The GRIFT Act (SBJARC&G), is the latest innovation in gold, silver, and copper re-allocation technology, allowing citizens, residents, and tourists alike to have their hard-earned coin included in the pile for Franciel to sleep on.
Just think: it could be YOUR silver piece pressing up against his left elbow as he struggles to find a comfortable angle to lay down, because in all honesty, metal coins don't offer a lot of lower back support. We didn't really think this through. Perhaps if we get enough notoriety, instead of Johnny Alto's, we can get sponsored by Helix Sleep, "The only custom mattress built for you." Anywho, we are now opening up our brand new shop for TSHIRTS AND STUFF!
Now you might be thinking, "Varrick, don't you already sell tshirts and stuff?" to which I respond, "Yes, but these are new!" The online shop is print on demand, shipped straight from, robot horses know where, straight to your door! We seached the realm far and wide for a print-on-demand shop that doesn't suck ass, and ordered unfathomable amounts of "Wood Elf Slut" crop tops to find the best quality at the most reasonable price! Operation GRIFT (SBJARC&G), will include monthly(?) new(?) merch(?) that allows you to support the city's efforts and cover yourself in the most excellent finery.
Take a look, follow your heart, and allow the spirit to move you to click that, sweet, seductive "Add to Cart" button. Give Us Your Money! Unless you don't want to! I am not your dad and cannot tell you what to do!
Robot Horses Bless,
Varrick
Head of the Board of Tourism of Bard City
Bard County Delenda Est
But Actually…
To be real with y'all, we have been toying around with the idea of a Patreon or YouTube memberships or something for a couple a years now, however, we stopped after we came to the following conclusion.
We really like the community that we (as in all of us, not just the band) have built here, and we couldn't stomach the idea of creating a walled garden based on a subscription fee which would inherently exclude those who couldn't afford it or just can't make the math work.
That said, we still have a lot of really fun ideas for songs, music videos, and new shows where the main limiting factor is budget. Instead of putting exclusive content behind a paywall, we're just going to put more stuff in this shop.
Since it's print-on-demand, we can make stuff that is more niche and more variety than we could ever fit in our merch box. It's also a way to give you guys a chance to support this project financially without excluding others or a monthly commitment.
If you see something you like and you wanna buy it? Great! If you don't? That's fine too! Also, you'll actually get something you can use everyday other than Franciel feet pics or whatever.
We appreciate all the support you guys have given this project over the last few years, both financially and emotionally.
We always thought it was hokey when a band did the whole "we couldn't have done this without you" bit at the end of a show, but quite literally, we couldn't do what we do without your support. Thank you all for everything that you do!
Big Things Coming
